Where's Lucatore?

happy Happy HAPPY THREE!!!!!

2010-03-29T05:23:00.000-07:00

Today is Aliya's birthday, and I have taken off work so that I can go to her preschool with arms full of cupcakes and easter-basket favors and party with all of her friends. We had a party at home yesterday too, with local friends, and a celebration with Anika the night before that. It's been 3 full days of Turning Three.

I no longer have a baby girl. Instead I live with this charming, energetic, diminuitive little person, who is admittedly quite short, but clearly not a baby. She speaks in gramatically correct sentences. She puts clothes on with no assistance whatsoever. She wears underwear, and it stays dry. With a tear in my eye, I cannot help but admit... I am now the mommy of a full-fledged Kid.

The months since the last post have included a Christmas celebration, a rennovation and a move, a new baby cousin Luna, a new Kazakh-cousin Elvis Bulan, (who we look forward to finally meeting in a few weeks), a new school in Wilmington, lots and lots (and lots) of snow, and settling into a new way of life that includes walking to Trader Joe's and bringing back groceries in the stroller, walking to take Ava to school and drop of the paper recyclables while we're there, walking to pick Ava up from her mom's house, walking to the playground after work/school, walking to get ice cream after dinner, walking to get coffee and an egg sandwich on Sunday mornings. That was winter in Media. We can't wait to see what spring, summer, and fall in our quaint and compact new town have to offer. When we head out the door now, the first thing Aliya will often ask is "Mommy, can we walk?" and if the answer is yes, there is a joyful, "HURRAYYYY!!!!" This is the kind of life I want for my no-longer-a-baby girl.

Finally, on the third anniversary of Aliya's birth, I want to send her birth mother, Gulnaz, a heart full of gratitude for bringing Aliya into the world and into our lives. We will always be indebted to her, and if she is somewhere wondering, I want her to know that her baby is blossoming into a beautiful, kind, smart, funny and fearless little girl, surrounded with love, and cherished by her family and friends every day.

OK, now I need to wipe tears off my cheeks and post some pix!

Aliya's first ski trip, in which she was repeatedly whisked down the bunny slope at high speed by me and PopPop, her skis barely grazing the snow. She shrieked and laughed with every run. Did I mention the kids has no fear? I predict she'll be competitive in Women's Freestyle by the 2022 Olympics.

Aliya's Birthday Party, which began with The Birthday Princess feeling a bit overtired from giggling late into the evening with Anika the night before. Between the frenzy of slightly-older kids running around, and the close proximity to nap time she was stretched pretty thin, and when we finally brought the cake out, she burst into tears amidst a rousing chorus of "Happy Birthday to You." Fortunately, a quick recovery was made when she learned it was time to open gifts, and she ended the party in good spirits. Then she napped for over 2 hours. It was some party.

So big, and still so small.

2009-11-02T04:50:00.000-08:00

Now that Aliya's essentially a kid, but still mama's baby all at the same time, two blogs a year seems the most I can crank out. But I can't let the (almost) anniversary of the first day I met her pass by without a post. So much change has happened since the last post 6 months ago - both in our lives, and to the Great Big Aliya.

I am typing this from the large, reclining desk chair, in Pop Pop's office, at Gagi Nita & Pop Pop's house, where we are living now, as we wait to take possession of our 105-year-old "New House." I suppose it is not that unusual for three generations to cohabitate (and certainly, in much of the world - including parts of Kaz - it remains the norm), but I still never thought I'd get to experience it first hand, as the middle generation. But here I am, in the house in which I grew up, watching my kids play in the cul de sac, my dogs romp in the woods, and self-conciously smooching my husband goodnight in my sister's old bed (the kids got my old room). For Sal and I, and I think for my parents as well, the arrangement is doable, if not desirable. For the kids however, and in particular Aliya, it is ideal. She sits at the dinner table now, beaming, and says, "Look! Aliya's whole family. Gagi, PopPop, Mommy, Daddy, Ava, Dexter, Oz, Max, Ranger. Aliya's whole family!" Bedtime goodnights take a good 10 minutes now, with 4 humans and 4 dogs to hug & kiss. And Sunday afternoons are showtime, running from grown-up to grown-up to show off Tricky Ideas, Noisy Songs and Crazy Stunts. When you're two years old, extended-family living is good good good. I still get choked up sometimes, watching my once-solemm little bud continue to bloom and grow amongst all the people who love her so.

We close on our new house in 10 days, and hope to move in by the end of November. Sometime during the interim 2 weeks, we will gut and rebuild the kitchen, build a large fence around the yard so that kids & dogs can romp without worry, paint most of the rooms, and of course unpack all of our belongings (currently hibernating in storage pods). You know, while both working full time and entertaining two wacky kids. The amazing thing about Sal is, he always finds a way to make these crazy plans blossom into fruition, and I do my best to help.

I know that Aliya will be sad to leave Gagi & PopPop's house, but she is already excited that the new house is only 2 blocks away from Ava's mommy's house, and she's already talking about stopping by to visit Ava's new Baby Sister Claire whenever possible. And walking Ava to school. And picking Ava up from school. And hanging out with all of Ava's big kid frinds. And having lunch with Ava's mommy. And watching Adam eat worms - again. It's gonna be a great new adventure for all of us, and espsecially for my Thunderball.

Lastly, as I get all weepy remembering the first day I saw Aliya, I am very happy to note that Aunt Nina & Uncle Justin are deep in the midst of creating their own blog now, as they are in Karaganda with their beautiful son Elvis Bulan, and will hopefully bring him home within the next few weeks. Aliya (and the rest of us) can't wait to meet him.

"Aliya, how old are you?" "TWOOOOOOO!!!!..."

2009-04-06T06:58:00.001-07:00

...she answers, while holding up 4 fingers.

My baby girl is two. When asked, "Aliya, are you a baby?" She gets a big grin, shakes her head no, and says, "Big girl." When asked to get a new diaper from the bin, she pulls out a Pull Up and says. "Big girl." When walking up the stairs together, she suddenly lets go of my hand, says, "Stay," and continues walking on her own, and at the top annoucnes "Big girl."

My little baby is a big girl. And she could not be cuter, sweeter, or more delectable. I can't stand it.

Disneyworld, Feb 2009, where we celebrated the first anniversary of Aliya's Airplane Day. Each time we would see a character, Aliya would yell, "Me hug! Me hug!" And each time we would at last be at the character's side, after an interminable wait in line, she would bury her head in my shoulder and say, "No. No. No." very quietly. Repeat every 15 minutes for 4 days.

Aliya's birthday party, March 22, 2009. A joint party with Anika & Alexei, all three Delphin Babies turning two within two weeks of one another. All big kids now.

And of course, some random silly cutitude, from recent months:

One year ago today

2008-11-03T09:41:00.001-08:00

Nothing like having a toddling Thunderball afoot to make it impossible to keep up with a blog. It's been one year since the quiet, solemn little Aliya was placed in my arms for the first time, wearing a little bonnet and sweater. I am as a teary at the memory as I was at the time. I sure do love my little baby girl, who insists on being less and less of a baby with each passing day.

And now for some catch-up photos.

The week at the beach with the Keisters in August:

At a Delphin House reunion at Sam & Julie's:

Showing off Big Girl skills and attitude (not to mention sign language), since starting preschool in September:

On a recent visit to Pittsburgh to meet Uncle Charlie and Aunt Claudia, who are returned from living in Rome:

Her first halloween:

And braving the freezing rain to see her first Obama rally last week:

And last of all, compliments of Sal..... it's Aliya-Cam!

Dog Days of Summer

2008-07-18T05:51:00.000-07:00

This morning Sal left at 7AM to take the girls to the beach for a weekend rendezvous with their cousins (I will join them via train after work tonight). I have been alone in my home for a solid 2 hours, and still another 1.5 hours to myself before I head to work. After 5.5 months of craving and not getting a moment of solitude, would you believe I already miss them? I can't believe it either, but I do. So here I am, putting off the long overdue garden-maintenance, bathroom cleaning, and so forth that I had scheduled for this morning, and instead I'm updating the blog.

So what's new? Aliya is everywhere at once these days, truly a toddler now. And boy am I exhausted.

Summer is in full swing, so we've been spending most of our time outdoors, of which she never tires. She loves the pool, the playground (where she will plunge headfirst down the slide without a pause) and playing with the neighbors (young and old). Her recoiling-with-shyness phase has ended, and she is now flirting with the public wherever we go. But she's still a mama's girl :-) She is trying to mimic alot of words (and songs -too cute!), but Mama, Papa, Vava (Ava) and Baba (bottle) are the only ones we can consistently understand.

As for Ava, she has lost 2 teeth in the last month, and loves showing off her new smile. She graduated from preschool in June, and had her dance recital the same day, and is about to start kindergarten in September. She's spending her summer days playing out back with her best friend, and while their activities are largely Top Secret, I have gleaned that they are catching bugs and making mud potions and riding their scooters and plotting to beat up Sal in new, creative ways. She's even helping me in the garden from time to time. In true Ava style, she does it all while dressed to the nines and somehow keeps her dresses clean. Truly a modern woman in the making. She seems so grown up at times that it's hard to grasp.

We visited Aunt Ginger in NYC last weekend, thus beginning a mutual love affair between the citizens of Lower Manhattan and Aliya. In particular the gay population of SoHo was completely enamored of her, and fauned over her wherever we went. It seems there's just something about the girl.

And lastly, I enrolled Aliya in 3-day-a-week preschool, to start in September, so that Sal can begin working more of a normal schedule. It made my heart break a little, though all the kids in her room seemed to be having a great time, and Aliya was quite interested in what they were up to. I've never seen a group of 18-month-old kids behave so calmly. Wonder what will happen once the ThunderBall is in their midst!

Home three months

2008-05-09T07:25:00.000-07:00

And it feels like she's been with us forever. Today Aliya and I sat down and looked at pictures and videos from the past 3 months, and I could not believe how much she's grown and changed already. She seemed impressed too, lots of oooohs, aaaaaahs, and pointing. She took her first solo steps a month ago, but only in the last week has she actually started toddling about with purpose. Sometimes when she's fallen, and is pushing herself back to standing, she pauses in a long, protracted downward dog pose, grinning from ear to ear. Love that grin so much!

But enough text, on to the graphics:

Aliya's first birthday party:

Ice skating, where Sal pushes her in a chair, while Ava skates along side them. She loves speed:

At the circus. We expected her to nap in the stroller outside the arena with grandma, while Ava watched the circus - but she was totally engaged in the whole show! She could not get enough of the animals, in particular.

Chuck-e-cheese with her cousins this past weekend. I could not believe it when I hoisted Aliya into the dark tube maze suspended from the ceiling, and before I could even follow her up she was off and crawling, and waving happily to the crowds below. The girl has no fear.

And some miscellaneous, around the house:

Happy Birthday Aliya!!!

2008-03-29T07:11:00.000-07:00

Yup, she's all grown up. Standing by herself, and attempting to walk by herself, which only results in a quick trip to the floor. But she keeps on trying. She's climbing the stairs. She's splashing it up in the pool. She's gleefully obeying the command "Gimme 5!." She gets exponentially cuter each moment. Here are some recent pix. We're postponing birthday cake til tomorrow, when Ava is here, so I'll add those pictures later:

HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY, BEAUTIFUL GIRL!!!!!

When does a working mom blog?

2008-03-03T14:51:00.001-08:00

Now that everyday is an Aliya Adventure and blogging time gets scarcer by the week, things begin to blur together, and I find myself at a loss for words when faced with the blank screen. Aliya's doing really well, other than some persistent diarrhea that our pediatrician is helping us sort out. It's weird to be on the other side of the "my little one has diarrhea that won't go away" conversations.

Ava has been slowly learning to share her daddy. It has not been an easy transition for her, but she never once has taken out her frustration on little Aliya - which I think is a significant accomplishment. Certainly, the same could not be said of me when ol' Ginger rolled into my life (Ava loves to hear my mom tell the story of how I tried to bang baby Ginger with a hammer). I've actually gotten to have more quality time with Ava, now that Daddy is sometimes occupied with the baby, which has been an unexpected positive development as well.

Each day Aliya becomes more spirited and less reserved. She loves to be outside, and it's finally the time of year where it can be a regular occurrence. She is "walking" by herself now, with the aide of her Pediatric Walker, aka, the thing with beads, wheels and a handle that allows her to propel herself recklessly forward without falling on her face. She gets a big open-mouth grin when using her walker:

The walker grin is not to be confused with the demonic Chucky grin she gets whenever she's doing a mad crawl at Sal or I - which she will inevitably do whenever one of us is foolish enough to lie on the floor in her presence. (Note to self - videotape demonic-Chucky-grin-mad-crawl before she outgrows it!):

Aliya is slowly meeting and getting comfortable with all the neighbors, which is good, because our block is a social place to be, especially with warm weather hovering around the corner. She is beginning to smile when either Sal or I get home from work, recognizing us as we stride through the door.

Returning to work on 2/25 was not as bad as I'd feared. The balance is actually pretty ideal. We have staggered our schedules so that we only need a babysitter 10-hours/week, so that both Sal and I have about 25-hours/week home alone with her. My mom did us the great favor of babysitting the last couple weeks, but our new sitter Gabby will start next week. Aliya took to Gabby right away, which is not her usual M.O. Now we just have to figure out when Sal and I will spend time with each other. This may improve when we figure out how to stay up past 8:30pm.

What else of note? A visit from Aunt Ginger, a visit from the Keisters, and a second visit with Grandma & Paw Mengine. Trips to the grocery store and the dog park. Learning how to feed the dogs crackers (and cereal, and bananas, and apple sauce, and toys, and lint). Here are more pix from the past couple of weeks:

Trading Snow hat for Sun hat

2008-02-18T12:17:00.000-08:00

What a beautiful Monday we're having! Aliya has slept through the night for 3 nights in a row, and we're all feeling like new people. And today we lucked out with a break in the cold, dreary February weather - it's 68F and sunny out! Aliya went for her first long outside walk, with bare tootsies and a sun hat. She babbled and kicked her legs the whole time.

Afterward, she enjoyed some refreshing time playing with the grass, mud, moss and twigs in our front yard. Can't wait til this weather kicks in for the season.

Also on today's menu, and extremely messy lunch. Here are the before and after pictures:

This past weekend we enjoyed a nice long visit with Nina & Justin. Aliya took to them with lightening speed. Dexter, however, who has already been battling baby-envy, nearly blew a gasket when Phoenix got to sit at the table during lunch. Poor Dex.

Aliya is pure joy, even when she's fussing and crying (the latter of which is primarily reserved for car rides - she hates 'em!). My heart is so full. As Gia recently predicted to me, mommyhood

has exceeded my expectations.

Happy Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T08:05:00.000-08:00

We're winding down from the first week at home. Aliya is all decked out in the Valentine's outfit that Kimmy got her, and she needs a morning siesta, because we're expecting Grandma & Pa Mengine later this afternoon, for their first visit with their 6th grandchild.

The best part of bringing Little A home has been introducing her to the Big A. As we all expected, Ava has proved herself a wonderful, caring big sister. And as I was warned by those who went before me, two is not twice as hard as one - it's 3 times as hard as one. Even when the first is as helpful and obliging as Ava. Incidentally, Ava got to stay home from school with Aliya & me on Monday because a massive baby-diarrhea-all-over-the-bathroom episode combined with a faulty-car-seat-installation episode made us unable to get her there on time. This was Tam's first morning home alone as a mommy. Now let us never speak of that morning again).

Motherhood has proved exhausting, emotional, fun, endearing, silly, exhausting, and also exhausting. The child who slept easily through the night while we were in Kaz has apparently stayed in Kaz. The U.S. Aliya frequently awakens and has forgotten how to soothe herself back to sleep. We have found that keeping her room uber-warm, swaddling her tightly in blankets, and immitating the "ShShShShSh" sound that the baby house caretakers perfected are all helpful in lulling her back to sleep. Unfortunately we're finding it tougher to lull ourselves back to sleep. I'm confident we'll figure it out in time.

Besides the sleep issues, though, it's going really well. She's such a doll. She is obsessed with trying to walk, and we suspect she'l be fully mobile soon (god help us). She's fascinated by the relative vastness and clutteredness of hew new digs. She has consisently pooped on the potty since we got her home, which has been so great for us (other than the aforementioned disaster morning - but, I forgot, I'm never speaking of that again).

Pictures will speak louder than my words, no doubt:

Home Sweet Home

2008-02-09T08:09:00.000-08:00

We did it. After 11 of the most roller-coastery months of my life, we are home with our dear baby girl. Aliya is now a U.S. citizen and there were no (major) hitches on the trip home. Aliya is such an amazing baby. She got up at 1AM Friday morning, traveled for 26 hours straight, got to her new house full of new objects, met her new grandparents & the dogs, and she did it all with barely a tear or fuss. She then slept from 7:45PM to 4:30AM last night, which I felt was great given that we are completely reversed from her native time zone. She's taking her first nap in her new home now.

Lots to say, but lots of unpacking to do, so I'll just share some super-cute pix for now.

Our last day in Almaty (with our travel companions, Maryellen, Sabina and the newly adotped Nikita):

At the Frankfurt airport (6 hour layover. Aliya wasn't fussy but I was):

And at home, featuring the beautiful sign we found when we arrived, made by our neighbor Victoria, which we will keep forever. And from this AM, her first meal in a highchair. The dogs have already figured out what an asset she is to have around. (Grandpa John took all the homecoming pictures last night, and I'll post them when I get a copy):

Look out world

2008-02-05T05:32:00.000-08:00

Wow! The reserved and solemn Aliya has morphed into a cherubic fireball!!! She has a lot to say, a lot to grab, and a lot to throw. She is crawling with a drunken, swaying gait, and believes she can pull-up and cruise WITHOUT ANY HELP, thank you! - even though each time we let go she promptly lands on her bottom. I'm exhausted, but I'm so relieved - her staid little demeanor on our last two trips had me worried. She's quite content riding in the peanut shell sling (thanks Lorie and Rick!) and has just about outgrown this small hotel room and the small suitcase's-worth of toys we brought. She is sleeping great - 11ish hours at night without a peep, and also a nap during the day, though the actual schedule has been quite varied each day (whihc must be a shock to her, after the regimentation of the baby house). Wish I could say the asame of us - we are both very jetlagged. Hopefully we'll be able to quickly return us & her to a fixd routine once we get home. She has used the toilet three times, though she's also gone through quite a few diapers. She is eating at restaurants with us, but without high chairs or any child-friendly amenities, the meals are quite an adventure. This girl is ready to get home!

OK, that's about all the text my fried brain can handle. Love to all back home!!!

Baby on Board (amazing)!

2008-02-03T08:54:00.000-08:00

Well, I am so overwhelmed with joy that I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, so I’ve been doing a little of both. Little Aliya is asleep in the crib beside me in our small hotel room. We have been her parents for 2.5 hours, and they were a perfect way to start our new life with her. I don’t know what happened to the solemn, serious little kid we left in Kostonai, because this baby is full of laughs, smiles and shouts of glee. Since the moment we picked her up at the airport tonight, there was not a single fuss or frown (I know, I know, it’s only been 2.5 hours). When we got back to the Hotel Kazzhol, Aliya got to enjoy, for I assume the first time, the joy of sitting around in only a diaper, and she was shocked by both her feet and her bellybutton (those are mine? amazing!) play on the fancy play mat Aunt Beth gave us (that mirror is amazing!), fed herself some crunchy baby peach puffs (they melt in your mouth - amazing!), had a nice blowout of diarrhea in her diaper, then on me, then on the changing pad, then in the toilet (she also peed as soon as we put her over the toilet – amazing to us!), then went back to the play mat (it’s still amazing!), then discovered Sal’s nose and my hair (ouch! I mean – amazing!) then had a nice baba, which took her a minute to accept the new nipple & formula – but then sucked the whole thing down without a pause - amazing!), and then we put her down in her crib, and she was all smiles and giggles, and then soothed herself to sleep within 5 minutes (wow. truly amazing!).

I don’t know what to write – beyond the factual synopsis I am at a complete loss for words. I’m just going to post this and watch my baby girl sleep.

Aliya's room

2008-01-29T10:53:00.000-08:00

We will be leaving in 72 hours. Here are pix of the newly finished baby room.

We were blessed to have a shower this past weeked at my mom's house, and barely had to buy a thing for little Aliya's arrival. Thank you so much to everyone! And especially thanks to Mel, Shana, and Lorie & Rick for driving such a long way to get there. It was great to see everyone. Let the countdown begin.

It's official

2008-01-09T05:12:00.000-08:00

As of this morning, the 15 day appeal period is over. We are officially Aliya's mom & dad. My heart is so full. Now our coordinator will apply for her passport, which typically takes 2-3 weeks. Then we fly back to Kaz (a nurse from the baby house will bring her to Almaty for us), do some paperwork with the U.S. Embassy. And then it's home sweet home with our new baby girl. We plan to leave Feb. 1st, and return home Feb. 8th, if all goes smoothly from here on out.

I am smiling from ear to ear.

Christmas video

2008-01-05T17:47:00.000-08:00

Better late than never:

Peace in the cold

2007-12-26T09:19:00.001-08:00

Well, now we are huddled up together under two wool blankets on a single-size cot at the Hotel Askunur, next to the Almaty International airport, because it is too cold to do otherwise. When we learned we’d have to leave Kostonai early today, we were disappointed, but figured we’d make the best of it by visiting the open-air market in Almaty. It was too cold to go while we were in Kostonai, with temp staying around -25C. So imagine our surprise when we disembarked in Almaty this afternoon to a frosty -17C. Over the last 2 days I’ve learned that when it is this cold out, it hurts your lungs when you breathe through your mouth. You have to breathe through your nose, to give the air a chance to warm up. It does make your nose hurt, but that’s OK.

We celebrated Gotcha Christmas Night with a redux of The Knight’s Castle (erroneously called the King’s Castle in a previous post), and were joined by the Carbaughs, who had just arrived via London & Moscow. I am now using their real name, with permission, and will add again here how very much we enjoy their company. We were all in a stupor, but that didn’t stop us from getting up and dancing when greeted with an unexpected visit from Father Frost (aka, Santa Clause). Though Russian Orthodox Christmas is not til Jan. 7th, Father Frost seems to be more of a New Year emblem here, as do the decorated trees, lights and garlands that festoon Kazakhstan this week. Welcoming the New Year is a big, lengthy deal here, and apparently on New Year’s Eve everyone will dress up in costume and join together in Kostonai’s city square, regardless of the temps. But last night, as part of a major tour to kick-off his annual gift delivery gig on the 31st, Father Frost showed up at the Knights Castle in full regalia, along with a scantily clad female elf. As first order of business, he directed a game of Kazakh Roulette (where several people choose a shotglass from a tray, and only one is really vodka) before entreating us all to join him on the dance floor. Quickly singling us out as the oddities we were, he tried to get us to sing some American Christmas carols on his microphone, but none of us were drunk enough to oblige him. Instead, we danced with the Kazaks til we nearly dropped (and I've got the video to prove it - to be uploaded when we get home), and then finished off the night with ice cream cubes with chocolate shavings, before plunging back outside for the frosty 5 blocks to our hotel. From start to finish, yesterday was a singular Christmas which I know will never be forgotten by either of us.

As an aside, I would like to note how impressed I am with the division of Christmas and Santa here. It allows Christmas to remain a spiritual holiday for Christians, while allowing folks of all faiths to participate in the gift-giving and merriment. Perhaps this is part of the secret of how Muslims and Russian Orthodox live peacefully, in equal proportions, in this country. I was immediately reminded of my poor mother, and her sad tales of receiving 8-days’ worth of socks and underwear, while her Christian friends made out like bandits on the morning of the 25th. In some circles of our family, it is speculated that this may in fact be the reason that she ultimately married goyim, to spare my sister and I a similar fate (and bless her for it!). Anyway, my point of this paragraph is to propose that it would make a whole lot of sense for all of us, worldwide, to adopt this Santa-New Year’s tradition, and leave Christmas as a quiet and holy birthday party for those who choose to partake. It could be quite unifying.

Both legs of our SCAT flights this trip were on the infamous prop plane, I’m guessing ca. 1960. The aisles were covered with long carpet runners, with occasional patches of the metal floor exposed beneath. The overhead bins were like those on a bus, just open shelves showing wreckless disregard for the fact that contents may shift during take-off and landing. The seats folded down when not in use, and the tray tables were light-weight pieces of tin. Best of all, each announcement by the stewardess on the overhead was preceded by a piercing alarm, which, when jarring you from an exhausted stupor, sounds very much like a siren heralding the planes imminent crash to the icy tundra below.

Despite all that, the flight this morning was actually very peaceful, and so is this chilly, spartan hotel room. As Sal put it, it feels like we’re living in a Jason Bourne movie, and this is one of those quiet, calm moments before the next wanton bloodbath. Or, in our case, this is a quiet moment to bask in the short but joyful visit with beautiful little Aliya – before embarking on another 24-hours of air travel, and facing the crazy month ahead. We’ve got 5 weeks to squeeze in belated holiday visits, baby-proof the house, prepare the remaining paperwork , gather baby items for the 3rd and final trip, and create a happy purple bedroom for our newest peanut. I have not allowed myself to do much prep before, for fear it would jinx things, and now I can’t wait to get to started on it all!

Gotcha!!!!!

2007-12-25T03:36:00.000-08:00

So that’s it! About 20 minutes ago, the judge decreed that we are the legal parents of Aliya Lucia. Better yet, the prosecutor had no objections, so while the 15-day appeal period is still required, it should be just a formality. I am so, so grateful that I cannot do it justice here.

And best of all, we had 2 visits with her today, about 1.5 hours apiece. She is so much bigger and more coordinated, and about 15-seconds away from crawling all over the room. When she first saw us, she grabbed our fingers and had a contented little look on her face. Shortly thereafter, she became more shy & reserved, but by the afternoon visit she loosened up and was laughing, smiling, interacting like a champ. She is such a precious little joy.

Other than that, the only other piece of news is that they changed our departure flight, so we have to leave first thing tomorrow AM (no visit with the girl), and will then have 13 hour layover in Almaty. I’m too exhausted to write more, so will just share some pictures from today. Merry Christmas, Happy Gotcha Day & lots of love to all back home!

A Morning in Almaty

2007-12-23T23:08:00.000-08:00

We are definitely back in Kaz. How can I be so certain? Because I just had beets & pickled cauliflower for breakfast, & Russian MTV was playing in the background with an over-dub of “vintage” Justin Timberlake. Definitely in Kazakhstan.

We completed the first 24-hours of our trip here, and arrived at the Hotel Kazzhol, Almaty, in the wee hours of Christmas Eve morning. Going through immigration & customs in Almaty was a far less intimidating experience than in Kostonai, which was a relief. After stealing 4 hours of sleep this morning, we were very pleasantly surprised by both the shower (hot, clear, high pressure water!) and the buffet breakfast at the hotel (4 different pickled veggie salads to choose from!). The temps are no colder here in Almaty than at home, but there is a nice covering of snow. We will have a little time to wander around this AM before returning to the airport for our flight to Kostonai. I don’t think we’ll get to see Aliya tonight, but am hoping this will be first on the agenda for Christmas morning.

It is nice to be back here (though, I suppose technically, having not been to Almaty before, this is still new territory). Nevertheless, everything has a nice nostalgic feel to it- the architecture; the banners of scrolling, festive colored lights everywhere; the fur-rimmed coats; the ubiquitous Kaz-pop music; the soft rumbling background of Russian voices, and the burst of excitement when I catch a word I know. I’d already forgotten small details, such as the effort put into interior decorating, obvious in all the restaurants, hotels and shops, and the patterns stamped into the sidewalks.

Hopefully by this time tomorrow, we’ll be snuggling the little baby girl.

Off to Kaz, Take Two (of Three)

2007-12-22T08:23:00.000-08:00

Santa did us the courtesy of coming a little early this year, given our extenuating circumstances. Ava just finished opening her gifts, and we just finished packing our bags. My folks will be dropping us off at the airport ~ 3:30PM as the start of the following agenda:

Today: Depart home, 5PMish Saturday
Arrive Frankfurt 7AM Sunday
Depart Frankfurt 1PM Sunday
Arrive Almaty 1AM Monday
Depart Almaty 3PM Monday
Arrive Kostonai 6PM Monday
Court Hearing (send us your prayers!) 4PM Tuesday
Depart Kostoni 2PM Wednesday
Depart Almaty 2AM Thursday
Arrive home (via Frankfurt) 5PM Thursday (or 5AM Friday, Kaz time)
Work - 9AM Friday

We are pretty sure we'll get to see Aliya on the 25th & 26th, and we got her a squeaky-rattley-shiny-fuzzy-chewy duck for Christmas! Please keep your fingers crossed for us that all goes smoothly from here on out. I'm sure we'll post again while we're there with updates & pix. Merry Christmas everyone!

Norah Jones made me cry

2007-12-07T10:28:00.000-08:00

I've known this song for years, but it caught my ear in a whole new way this morning on the way to work, and suddenly I was crying out loud.

"Spinning, laughing, dancing to her favorite song
A little girl with nothing wrong
Is all alone

Eyes wide open
Always hoping for the sun
And she'll sing her song to anyone
that comes along

Fragile as a leaf in autumn
Just fallin' to the ground
Without a sound

Crooked little smile on her face
Tells a tale of grace
That's all her own

Spinning, laughing, dancing to her favorite song
A little girl with nothing wrong
And she's all alone "

Oh my gosh, I miss little Aliya so much it makes me ache.
I have a lot to say, since getting home, I really do. The experience has "gelled", and new insights keep springing into my mind at unexpected times. Unfortunately, though, being home makes it a lot harder to find the time to get these insights out of my brain and into the blog, where they belong. I will try to rectify this over the weekend.

A Few Words from Aliya's Big Sister

2007-11-30T06:10:00.000-08:00

The following post was dictated to me by Ava, at her request, and she is very excited to be contributing her first post to the blog:

"I am very excited to meet my baby sister. I think that I will be a very good big sister. I'm planning to get Aliya her bottle when she's thirsty. I'm also going to teach her to color beautifully, the way I do."

Kazakhstani Homesick Blues

2007-11-30T05:33:00.000-08:00

We're home, safe and sound, after what we both agree was the most grueling travel of our lives. We have just reunited with Ava (the Big A), and despite a stupor of jetlag are eagerly embarking on spending the weekend soaking up her joyful little presence. We really missed her tremendously.

It's good to be home. But I'm homesick for Aliya (the little A). In some ways the entire month feels like a dream, and I'm clinging to it, trying to keep it from fragmenting in the months until we get her home. I started re-watching the videos of her as soon as we walked in the door. Now that we're back in the land of FIOS, I'll post a good-quality video in the near future.

Just got a quick update that our ailing fellow-traveler has been moved out of icu (good), but still having some pretty significant neurologic symptoms (bad). Please keep him & his family in your thoughts.

I'm off to play with Ava, but will post some travel thoughts, for those with upcoming trips, in the near future. And , stepping one last time onto the soap box - anyone going to Kaz should buy travel insurance with med-evac coverage.

Not the Last Blog Entry

2007-11-27T05:55:00.000-08:00

Greetings from Almaty! We are in the early hours of an overnight layover at the airport, and (hallelujah!) have discovered real coffee & free, highspeed wireless, in the same spot! No more Nescafe. No more 15 minute waits for a page to load. Ahhhhhhhhh.....

The preliminary hearing went well today. Our judge met yesterday with Aliya's birth mother, who consented to the adoption. We saw a picture of her (specifically, a photocopy of her drivers license), and she is a pretty young woman with classic Kazakh features. The judge told us she was "a very nice girl," but not in a position to raise a child. We learned that she and Aliya's father are both students at one of the Kostonai universties, and we learned a bit about the circumstances of her decision. It is nice to have a little piece of the story to share with Aliya someday, and the judge said we could get a copy of the photo as well. When we go back, I plan to bring a letter for Aliya's birth mom, thanking her and telling her a little about us, with the idea that we can leave it up to our coordinator to decide whether or not its a good idea to try and get it translated and delivered.

The judge interviewed us both, and told Olyessa we were nice people, and wished us luck. We finalized our courtdate for 4PM on Dec 25th. The funniest part was when she asked Sal if he intended to have a 3rd wife (he stammered in reply) and then told me, with a wink, that I better keep an eye on him. Again, I blame the dimple.

Then, we got to have a quick visit with Aliya before catching our flight, and she was out of the infirmary, and we finally got to hear a laugh out of her for the first time in days. So it was a happy way to leave (though I got all choked up at the end).

Lastly, our sick fellow-traveler is steadily improving. His situation has made the last few days of our trip quite surreal, and has left us both a bit emotionally exhausted. He has a long road of recovery still ahead of him, and he and his family could use the prayers & positive vibes of anyone who wants to send them.

We have another 36 hrs of travel ahead of us, and can't wait to get home. Love to you all -Tam (& Sal)

Last Blog Entry

2007-11-25T23:03:00.000-08:00

Hello all. It’s Sal. Although this is my very first blog entry, it will be the last entry of our trip. Wow, what a week! Tam and I are both exhausted as we have been up most of the last few nights assisting a member of our travel group who is very ill. Without going into too much detail, he is critically ill with food poisoning and has been in the hospital for the past three days. About 10 days ago, we believe he got food poisoning from eating at a restaurant near the East Market. Before receiving medical attention, he had experienced a wide range of bizarre symptoms, including paralysis of his left leg and arm, fever, night chills, dehydration, etc, etc…His family is currently trying to get him a Medical Evac to Germany. For all adoptive parents getting ready to travel to Kazakhstan, we would highly recommend travel insurance just to be safe.

As for Aliya, she has spent the last few days in the infirmary with a fever and upper respiratory bug. At the time of our visit this morning, her fever was gone and she was feeling much better. She was still coughing and sneezing, but overall more energetic than yesterday. We will get to visit her one last time before our preliminary court hearing.

As you all know, we will be making a total of three trips to Kaz so that we can bring Aliya home. And, as you all can imagine after seeing her pictures and hearing her laugh, she is worth as many trips as necessary to get her home. It’s going to be very difficult leaving her behind.

Tam and I will resume updating the blog sometime around December 24th, which is the day before our final court hearing. We can’t wait to get home to see everyone!

Sick Baby

2007-11-23T05:16:00.000-08:00

When we got to the baby house this AM, Aliya was not in her room, and after a bit of pantomime we determined she’d been transferred to the infirmary – confirming our suspicion over the last few days that she was not feeling well. We were able to visit with her, and it was actually quite nice because for the first time ever, we got to spend some time alone with her, without the distractions (for her and us) of 5 other babies and 2-3 caretakers. But she was clearly feeling poorly. We couldn’t get her to crack a smile, and she spent much of the visit just dozing in our arms. When she was awake, however, she was alert (if a little fussy) and didn’t appear to be in any significant distress.

So, inevitably, I’m worried about her. We’re not sure what specifically is wrong with her (she has a cough, runny nose, and conjunctivitis, but so do most of the kids in her room, and they haven’t been moved to the infirmary). Our coordinator speculates that she may just have a fever, which would be enough to result in transfer to the infirmary. They have already told us to plan on meeting her in the infirmary tomorrow AM, but I have all fingers crossed that by Sun or Mon she’ll be back in her regular room. Monday will be our last chance to visit, because Tuesdays schedule is very hectic. I can’t imagine having to leave her here, with her still ill.

On a happier note, we have made a photo album for her, half with picture of her with us, and the other half with pictures of Ava & the dogs. We will leave it with her caretakers when we go, so they can continue to show her our pictures. And, even if she doesn't like the pictures,the album has a stuffed teddy bear on the front, so no doubt she'll enjoy chewing on that!

Pass the Tofurkey, Please!

2007-11-21T23:20:00.000-08:00

Another quick update. I stayed up all night tonight talking & emailing with the travel agent, and got most of our plans worked out. We will be coming home at the very end of November, and then returning just before Christmas. Our court date is now scheduled for December 25th (that’s right, if all goes according to plan, we will legally become Aliya’s parents on Christmas day). The cost of the extra flights was astronomical, due to the holiday. Ouch. Let us never speak of it again.

Most of the group was up all night working on our individual travel arrangements, so we plan to spend the afternoon napping, and will then go out for a Thanksgiving dinner (of pickeled cabbage and stewed mutton, no doubt) tonight.

Aliya has been sick our last couple of visits, and we’ve had to work extra hard to get a laugh out of her (though today, for the first time, she consistently laughed at me doing a silly thing, which is the first time I’ve seen her amused by just watching someone, as opposed to being physically stimulated (Sal is the ultimate expert at the latter. The man was born to do “This little piggy went to market…”). And she’s consistently falling asleep in my arms after just 2-3 minutes of rocking and singing to her (it helps that she’s used to such a rigid nap schedule, no doubt). I am feeling deeply sad about leaving her, just as we seem to be slowly cracking through her reserved little shell. I know she’ll be fine, I’m the one who’s overly-eager to get her home and start our life with her. I guess I’ll just spend all of December and January obsessively creating her bedroom, and baby-proofing the house. Dog fur is nutritious for babies, right? (just kidding, Mom Mengine!!)

Hope everyone back home has a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday. Please eat some tofurkey with us in mind. Love -t

An unwanted surprise

2007-11-20T22:41:00.000-08:00

This will be brief, and picture-free as we forgot the camera today.

For those with an adoption in process, please note that to the best of my knowledge, the following only applies to Kostonai, and may not occur in every case. Yesterday afternoon our facilitator told us she had good news & bad news. The good news - all 3 families were assigned the same judge, and we got a judge with a lot of experience in internatioal adoptions. The bad news - someone has decided there should be a 30-day waiting period between the end of our visitation, and our court date, instead of the usual 10-14 day wait. This would have put our final court date at Dec. 16th, but this is the beginning of a week-long national holiday, so our final court date has now been scheduled for December 24th. Our preliminary hearing, however, has to be scheduled within 10 days of the end of our visitation, so it will occur on Nov. 27th. Our facilitator announced that we should plan to go home on Nov 28th, then come back for the December 24th hearing (4.5 days of travel time & $4000 in additional expense, for what is typically a 20-30 minute event). As you can tell from the previous sentence, I’m frustrated. We’re all frustrated, and scrambling to change our travel arrangements, while being told that flight availability is minimal so close to the Christmas holiday.

After the hearing on the 24th, we return back home, without Aliya. There is a15-day waiting period after the trial, in case the prosecutor wants to appeal (which has happened, but is apparently very rare). After the 15-day wait is up, our coordinator will apply for Aliya’s visa and passport, which takes 2-3 weeks. So, we will (I hope and pray) be returning a third time, end of January or early February, to bring her home.

That’s the update. A lot of details are currently up in the air, and morale is pretty low amongst the “troops.” I’ll keep everyone up to date as things get worked out. Love to all at home -t

Hurry up and wait

2007-11-20T02:04:00.000-08:00

Our 15-day visitation period has passed, and so today our facilitator submitted our petition to adopt Aliya, and hopefully we will know tomorrow what our court date will be. Though trying not to get our hopes up, we are simultaneously keeping fingers and toes crossed that it will fall on or before Nov 30th, so we can keep our current schedule for departure on the 2nd (only one international flight per week from Kostonai). We are down to about 8.5 hours of daylight each day, and I for one am starting to feel a little stir-crazy.

Kohladna – cold. We awoke this morning to temperatures of -13C, though this afternoon it has warmed to -9C. The bitter winds & icy sidewalks have made afternoon strolls through the market less palatable, so there’s been a substantial increase in the amount of time spent reading, playing cards, and watching videos. The mood of the group is such that we’ve tried to avoid watching any movie that doesn’t feature either Jack Black, Will Ferrell, or a supernatural monster. A flu is going around the group as well, and thankfully so far Sal & I have been only mildly affected. We are taking our vitamins and drinking the special herbal tea recommended by our facilitator, which features a drawing of a 3-fold compound leaf inside a red cross, and is called “Zerde” – not sure of the translation.

And the little Aliya – she is doing well. She is starting to really like being snuggled, and for the first time today she cried after being put down (I know some day this phenomenon will be a frustration, but for now it's a triumph). I'm putting up a new video at video.yahoo.com - search for "baby Aliya ipod" I am so eager to try so many things with her, and show her so much stuff, that sometimes I feel impatient with the short, confined visits. Yet she is utterly content to sit on the floor of her little playroom with us and the other babies, and play with the same 4 toys we’ve brought her, and try to tear off my opal necklace and whack Sal’s nose and leave tooth-marks on the camera. For now at least, this is all the novelty she needs.

Thaw

2007-11-17T21:51:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, Aliya had her first grumpy day with us (see photo exhibits a, b & c, above), likely due to some obvious and fragrant GI distress. Sal took it especially hard, because he was barely able to get a chuckle out of her, when normally he has her guffawing. She also refused to be rocked to sleep, preferring to comfort herself with fingers and blanket in her bed. We both left feeling a little down & helpless that we could not soothe her and relieve her distress.

Today she was back to her old self, greeting us both with a giant smile, laughing when she was tickled and tossed about, and falling quickly asleep in my arms at naptime, as I sang to her. Please, Powers Above, let this baby continue to be an easy sleeper, at least for another couple of years – two consecutive bedtime battles each night may take more energy than I have.

Overall, Aliya is becoming merrier and merrier, possibly because the caretakers have recently started making Sal wear a kerchief at meal times – initially, as a man, he was spared, but no longer. Aliya is not the only one giggling at the sight, the caretakers are highly amused (perhaps that’s why they started making him wear it).

The days continue to shrink exponentially, and it is now just barely daybreak when we arrive at the baby house at 9AM. Temperatures have climbed to above freezing today, and everything is damp and muddy from the thaw. Sadly, we both are recovering from a restless night’s sleep, so we may miss out on cavorting in the balmy 36F temps, due to intense nap-o-philia. Then again, the forecast for Thanksgiving has a high temp of -12C, so we should probably do our best to enjoy the thaw while it lasts.

November seems to be wedding season in Kazakhstan – on the weekends, we see a car decorated for a wedding drive by every 10 – 15 minuets, no exaggeration. Our hotel has hosted a wedding each weekend, and they are protracted 2-day affairs, with dancing, music and eating late into the night each day. I would love to put on my only dress and sneak inside, ala Wedding Crashers, but while my round face, blue eyes & Russian name fit in well here, my frumpy & sensible Earth Shoes would give me away in a heartbeat.

Well, Sal is napping away as I type, and the bed is beckoning to me as well. So much for frolicking in the thaw. Love to all back home -t

Happy Tenge Day!

2007-11-16T07:26:00.001-08:00

Today is Tenge Day, the day in which we celebrate the adoption of the new Kazakh national currency in 1993. Since we feel compelled to go downstairs and celebrate, here are pix of the beautiful baby, free of rambling text. She let me rock/sing her to sleep in my arms today. I melted into a giant heap afterward. She is truly the sweetest tiny creature I have ever been blessed to cuddle.

Selected Commentary

2007-11-14T06:03:00.001-08:00

Well, having fallen into a routine, there seems to be less to report on a daily basis. So, in the spirit of the David Sedaris & Stephen Colbert that I’ve been reading in the evenings, here are some random observations:

Comments on Aliya: We were asked to give a definitive spelling of her name, and our translator felt that Aliya was most consistent with the Russian spelling, so that’s what we chose. So, she can now be formally unveiled as: Aliya Lucia. Our baby house visits have been extended to 2.5 hours each morning. She has really loosened up with us, and greets us with a smile each morning. Overall she’s a serious, quiet, contemplative kid (like her mom), but prone to abrupt bursts of cackling (also like her mom). She’s ticklish. She smells like baby and sweetened gruel. She loves music, and cannot listen without kicking her feet in excitement - a dancing fool in the making. She loves books, and tries to grab the pictures out of them. She looks, (and at times acts), like a sumo wrestler. She feels that I need a nose-ectomy, and I have the scratches to prove it. She needs her nails trimmed.

Comments on the weather:

When we headed out to the market this morning, it was about 30F, overcast, with a light flurry. We all got excited and exclaimed, “Wow it’s so nice out today. I can’t believe how warm it is!” That pretty much says it all. I have learned the hard way to not go outside without tights under my jeans. Never again do I want to experience the feeling of walking on numb stumps. Tangentially – the sun begins to rise ~ 8:15AM, and sets ~ 5:45PM. Which gives us an extra disadvantage in the fight against jet-lag.

Comments on the food: We are eating well. Breakfast is Daily Cereal and Bread with Cheeses at the hotel restaurant (if we win the daily battle against jet lag) or instant oatmeal in our room (if we lose). Lunch is typically an epic affair with the entire group. All the restaurants (or at least the ones that will have us) are equipped with a hidden parlor style room, in which the group of awkward and unfashionable Americans can be sequestered. There is always a coat room, necessitated by the fact that while it is always frigid outside, the city steam plant makes sure it is always ~ 80F inside. There is one menu, always 6-10 pages long, which is typically read to us in its entirety by the translator. That, and the fact that we are neatly tucked away out of sight, means that we don’t even order our meal til ~30 minutes after our arrival. Meals always start with a salad (yesterday I tried “vitamin parade”, which was shredded cabbage, carrots, cucumbers, and tomatoes, + kernels of corn, with oil). For Sal & I, the salad is typically followed by a “garnish” (fried potates, mashed potatoes or rice pilaf) or soup (borscht, salmon soup, mushroom soup). Occasionally, we get a salmon kebab, which is incredibly tasty. For the rest of the group, salad is followed by garnish, soup, and large chunks of mutton, horse, or beef, either stewed, dumpling-ed or kebab-ed. And then dessert – either ice cream (served in neat cubes) or a pastry, often cake drizzled in condensed milk. So far our clothes still fit, probably because much of what we is unfamiliar that it goes shooting through our systems in record time. Most of the restaurants have MTV playing in a corner, and at least once per meal we’re able to enjoy the site of Britney Spears doing her pole dance. Due to the enormity of lunch, dinner usually consists of in-room snacking. We’ve amassed a large pantry of munchies from the open market – dried apricots, apricot cookies, apricot tea, apricot yougurt, cherry juice, olives, ramen noodles, black-bread crackers, fancy chocolates, pickled cauliflower, pickled cabbage, pickles, mushroom chips, cottage cheese bars, cans of tuna. And lots of chechel (the smoked, salted string cheese that we will be importing on our return, to fund our early retirement). Alas, the 16 oz jar of peanut butter brought from home will not last the trip.

Comments on drink: Vada with gas, vada nyet gas. Depending on the mood. Baltika 0-9. Any given establishment will likely only have a few different numbers at a time – but the grocery store has the full assortment. I can’t even drink more than half a glass of the 7 without getting a little loopy. Sal on the other hand, can hold his Baltika 9. The grocery store also has an entire aisle for vodka. We have been using it to clean dishes & toothbrushes, as it’s cheaper than bottled water. We also indulged in a few shots, (well, only a half-shot for me) at one of the fancier dinners, and it was icy smooth.

Comments on the Sal Phenomenon: (Poor Sal does not want me to include this – he’s bashful about his Phenomenon & speculates that it may not exist at all – but I can’t help but include it, because it’s too adorable). It appears that the Sal Phenomenon transcends cultural and language barriers. For those unfamiliar with it, the Phenomenon refers to Sal's unique ability to make women in general (and especially me) gush, giggle and babble when in his presence. Here, the phenomenon means that he gets extra attention from the bellydancers at dinner; he and he alone is predictably able to get a zerberty belly laugh out of Aliya with each visit; and he has accrued a fan club of Kazakh women at the open market, who eagerly rush out to see him when one of them notes our approach. The first time we met them, one of the older women rushed behind her booth and dragged out her young daughter, for Sal’s approval, then forced her to speak the 3-4 words of English she knew (poor thing). I am fairly certain I know the source of his transcendant Phenomenon, but can’t prove it because our Russian dictionary has omitted the word for “dimple.”

Well, there it is, an extra-long entry to make up for the days of blogging I missed. At this point, we are waiting to be assigned our court date, most likely in early December, though we’d admittedly be thrilled if it was sooner. After court, we are legally Aliya’s parents, but have to come home without her and await the processing of all the paperwork and the obtaining of her paperwork.

Thanks again to everyone for the comments. I’d like to send individual emails, but the dial up internet (31.2 kb/sec) is so frustrating that I end up giving up each time I log in. So let me say here that we love and miss all of you back home, and are so grateful for all the love and support you’ve been sending us during our adventure. We are so blessed in so many ways!!!! Best wishes to all -t

The Laugh

2007-11-11T06:19:00.000-08:00

The Buddha Baby has finally elected to bless us with her belly laugh. Man, it may be the greatest sound I've ever heard. I'm going to try to upload it here, but if you don't find it, it means I gave up and loaded it to the yahoo site (video.yahoo.com) - search for "Alea laugh".

By the way, some of you have astutely noticed that I'm experimenting with spellings of Ahlea Alia Ahlia Alea Alya Ahlya. Anyone wanting to cast a vote on this in the comments section, please feel free. The goal is to find a spelling that most makes you want to pronounce the name AH-lee-ah. The current spelling is in cyrillic alphabet, so the letters don't translate, leaving us free to experiment with wreckless abandon.

At some point I need to write a post about daily life as an American in Kostonai, but today is not that day. Suffice to say that I had a new experience today, after an hour or two of wandering around the open market (our afternoon activity of choice - think of the Moroccan casbah, but with all the merchandise imported from Chess King & Ladybug stores). But back to the experience - I lost feeling in my feet, which I had foolishly clad in only socks and shoes, instead of my wool-lined boots. I could feel the pressure on my leg with each step, but could not actually feel my feet. Fortunately, no permanent damage done - but can you imagine this is only autumn here? How do all the homeless cats & dogs survive the winter?

Delphin Baby House

2007-11-09T04:54:00.001-08:00

The Baby House is remarkable. One of our fellow travelers took a video during the tour our first day, which is the only way to really do it justice. But I’ll do the best I can with words.

Delphin Baby House is the home for orphans ages 0-3 years, for Kostonai and the surrounding region. The entire staff is female, including the director (Dr. Irinia, a physician), the pediatrician, a nursing staff, a massage therapist, and a music teacher. Not only is the staff responsible for both the daily and medical care of the babies, but they shop for and prepare all the meals, do all the laundry, do all of the interior decorating following the frequent expansions, (including painting and wallpapering the rooms in cheerful colors), and even make hand-made pillows to give to adoptive parents as gifts.

Babies are grouped together by age, and each age group has a bedroom, a playroom, and a bathroom, suitable to their age. Ahlia’s room, for babies aged 6-12 months, is equipped for 12

children, but currently houses only 6, with 2 caretakers present at any given time, plus visits from the various nursing staff. They each sleep in their own small crib, but share space in one of 2 playpens in the play room. The most coveted “hang out” spot is the bouncy chair, which is suspended by a rotating hook, and allows the babies not only to bounce, but to become airborne and fly about the corner. Since there is only one bouncy chair, the babies must take turns, and while they do so they are either in a little walker chair (most of them being too little to reach the floor, so the chair remains stationary), or in a play pen. At any given time, at least one or two are being changed, fed, held, walked outside (in a snowsuit that rival’s Maggie Simpson’s and deprives the baby of all mobility) or massaged. While there are many toys available, they mostly remain on the shelves. We’re not sure why, perhaps because the caretakers attention is always absorbed by the baby they are currently tending, and they don’t want to risk the unwatched babies choking or destroying something. This is our best guess. At any rate, when we arrive each day to put Ahlia on the blanket, surrounded by a smorgasbord of toys, she cannot stop playing, handling, squeaking, biting, throwing them. When it is time for our visit to end, the babies go down for a nap, and each gets a freshly autoclaved binky.

We only had a brief look at the older children’s rooms, but they do more structured activities, and are often walking through the halls in groups, holding hands, most seem like they can’t be more than 18-24 months old. When they pass us, they will begin to say “Mamas y Papas, Mamas y Papas”, (sometimes prompted by the caregivers, sometimes spontanesouly on their own) and will get very excited. I inevitably get all teary eyed as I return their smiles and waves. I am tearing up now as I type about it. It is almost unbearable.

Before entering the living quarters, all new children spend their first 3 weeks at the baby house. They are kept in quarantine while awaiting test results for HIV, Hep B, salmonella, dysentery, typhus, and a few other ailments, and watched for signs of disease. In quarantine, the care is provided solely by nurses, no caregivers. There is room for 4 children at once, each space sealed. Dr. Irina told us that new children come every Monday, but for the last 2 Monday’s, no children have arrived. She is hoping that perhaps this is a sign of real change, as the country’s economic status continues to improve. Another sign of this change is the “hope room”, an initiative started by the current “first lady” of Kazakhstan. This program allows babies to come to the baby house from ages 0-3, without being placed up for adoption. Their biological mothers can visit anytime, and spend as much time as they like with the babies. Once the mothers are ready, the babies can go back home. The program is only open to young, single mothers with first time pregnancies, and about 50% of the children in the program actually return home eventually.

The Baby House also has a music room, a ballroom (where we had our initial meeting with the babies), a newly renovated kitchen where all meals are prepared (but no cafeteria – all the children are fed in their living areas), an infirmary with a collection of medical equipment that was wholly unfamiliar to me, a “salt room” where children at risk for respiratory infections spend time as a preventative measure, a sauna (really) and an indoor pool (yes, really). All the children visit the sauna and pool once weekly and we’re told that as a result, the toddlers can swim at a rudimentary level. Outside there is no real playground, but there are a series of brightly colored “cages” (for lack of a better word) where children can sleep during the summer when it is too hot inside, and a large play yard.

Every room of the baby house is decorated with fancy linoleum, wallpaper and curtains (handmade by the caretakers, of course), and is filled with toys (mostly gifts from adoptive parents), and the walls are covered with photos of children from their post-placement reports (the reports that adoptive parents must file annually until their child reaches age 18, to help assure the powers that be that international adoption is a positive thing for these kids). The décor is modest, but it is cheerful and extremely child friendly. The caretakers are kind, and the babies in Ahlia’s room light up when the caretakers speak their names. All in all, it is a remarkable thing to behold.

Buddha Baby

2007-11-08T19:07:00.000-08:00

Technical difficulties yesterday. Dial-up internet is a challenge. Only have a few minutes this AM before leaving for the baby house, but wanted to share a few of yesterday’s pix. We finally go to take her onesie off, and now have proof that Alea is the roundest Buddha baby in the history of the planet. Obviously, babies at the baby house suffer no malnourishment. Doctor told us she is 20% for height, and 75% in weight!!! I just want to nibble her up!

Origins of Alea

2007-11-07T09:39:00.001-08:00

Greetings from Siberia! The foreseeable forecast shows not a moment of temperatures in excess of freezing, so our initial coating of snow from yesterday will be just the beginning.

Our visit with Alea today was lovely. We learned today that the correct pronunciation of her name is AH-lee-ah, not ah-LEE-ah as we had been saying. Once we fixed the pronunciation, she was much more responsive to her name. Most of the time, she goes by the Russian diminuitive AH-lee-USH-ka. We also learned that Alea is an Israeli name meaning “immigrant to a new home,” which of course is pretty striking, and perhaps not a coincidence. We don’t know whether her name was give to her by her birth mom (who was very young, and single) or the delivery ward at the hospital. Looks like we’ll be keeping it, though we may modify the spelling to make the pronunciation more apparent to Weserners.

Today, little Alea snuggled against me toward the end of our visit, put one of her hands in her mouth, and used the other to grab my finger, and started to drift into almost-asleep land. At that moment, it was time for me to put her back, and I got all teary-eyed, though Alea was not phased at all. The Baby House provides excellent care given the circumstances – still, this constant lavishing of attention and babbling that she now receives each day from us is a new thing for her, and I’m not sure she knows what to make of it.

OK, it’s time to go ice skating. Thanks to everyone for all the sweet notes, and special thanks to those taking care of the mutts. It sounds like they're having a great time.

The King's Castle

2007-11-06T04:21:00.000-08:00

Dear everyone,
Things are going well. Alea is a big, chubby-cheeked, smiley, inquisitive ball of delight, the initial feedback from the adoption doc has been positive, and the group of Americans whose trips coincide with ours are social and fun. Jet lag is slowly becoming manageable. The first snow of the season is falling as I type.

Sal & I agree that Kostonai is thoroughly unlike anywhere else we have traveled. In some ways it is an Asian/European hybrid, but there is something quite singular about it as well that I’ve yet to put my finger on.

Our first night here, immediately following our 30 hours of marathon travel, our coordinator took the stuporous bunch of us to a restaurant called the King’s Castle. The exterior resembled exactly that, down to the larger-than-life sized knights guarding either side of the door. Inside, after checking coats, scarves, hats and gloves (required for outdoor existence) we were escorted to a banquet hall with baroque prints on the walls, red carpet, a crystal chandelier, and a large center table, with thrones at either end and elaborately carved lions and other features on the arms of each chair. The walls were surrounded with smaller booths, for other diners, and then, just behind the throne at one end, was a dance floor, replete with disco ball and colored lights. The menu was a russified version of traditional british fare (served with either vodka, or the regional beer Baltika, which is ordered by number (0-9) depending on how drunk you need to be today). Unlike most restaurants, they had an English menu with dishes such as "Onion Happiness" (onion rings) and "Some kind of Fish, with Olive, Pickle and Mayonaise, In the Fantasy Style." The initial entertainment was an excellent classical guitarist, and he was followed by a long-haired, Jack-Black-esque vocalist who crooned heavy metal ballads in Russian, while a caucasian woman in a flowing red dress and a full set of gold teeth danced with an asian man, ballroom style, and a few other locals did a “bump and grind”. Alternating with the dance music, a group of stunningly attractive Kazakh women did a variety of burlesque dance routines, with varied (but always r-rated) costumes. There was even a belly dance, where the American daddy’s-to-be were fortunate enough to be able to place a neatly folded 2000-tenge note in their skirt or bikini top. By the end of the evening, most of us had gathered the nerve to join our fellow Kazakh diners on the dance floor.

That was our first night here, immediately following the 30-hours of travel. It was a lot of fun. I don’t know what I expected from our trip to Kazakhstan, but it wasn’t this. And it gets better. Tomorrow evening, we are going ice skating.

Alright, now for what you really want – more pix. And there’s a new video, “alea3” at video.yahoo.com. Love to all -t

I'm gooey and melty

2007-11-05T04:08:00.001-08:00

We toured the baby house today, and then got to spend about 30 minutes with Alea (whose name may or may not remain unchanged). I'm still too exhausted and jet lagged for a lenghthy description, so I'll try to appease the folks back home with some photos. Man, is she a cutie. Also, you may be able to access a video at http://video.yahoo.com/, and doing a search for "baby alea" . I just uploaded it and it currently says it's being processed. Love to all back home -t

We met our little love today

2007-11-04T09:27:00.001-08:00

Today we met Alea. Despite my fears, I held it together and was only teary, as opposed to overtly weeping. We are still waiting to review her case with the adoption doctor, but we have a really good feeling about her. We only got to spend ~ 10 minutes with her today, but she was a joy. Very interactive, interested in us, the toy we brought, and all different sounds. She was born 3/29/07, and is beautiful and healthy. One of the couples who is finishing their month here told us that Alea was in the same room as their son, and so they saw her every day and she is bubbly, happy and inquisitive. I will try and post a pic & video here, but am having some trouble with slow connection speeds, so not sure if the video in particular will work. If the picture field is blank, click on it.

Lots to tell about Kaz, but it’s late so I will save it for another post. Love to all back home!

We're Here!!!

2007-11-03T05:30:00.000-07:00

We’re sharing about 10 hours of sleep between us since the last post, but we are safe and sound in Kostonai. It is cold, but not bitterly so. The hotel is lovely, spacious, and much more luxurious than we’d anticipated, apparently with even a gym and spa ($5 manicures!). There are plenty of conveniences within walking distance, as well as a large park. We have translators to accompany us for outings, and have not suffered thus far for lack of vegetarian food. We’ve made a trip to the grocery store, and most of the comforts of home are readily available, though I suspect by the time we’re home we will be in green-vegetable deprivation. Here are pix from lunch today, where I had a really great bowl of borscht:

We were really fortunate to have made the entire trip in the company of another family, who already have a 4-year-old daughter adopted from Kaz. For their privacy, I’ll call them Bill, Maureen and Sarah. Their company has been genuinely enjoyable, and they’ve been incredibly helpful, having already been through the entire process. During the 14-hour layover in Frankfurt, we made a trip to the zoo. In my sleep-deprived stupor, I earnestly tried to convince Maureen & Sarah that a group of grey rocks under were a tree were actually sleeping capybara.

On a practical note, the step-down transformer that I went out of my way to find, is not suitable for laptops – fortunately, Bill & Maureen had a spare converter with them that works, or we’d’ve been out of business, from a cyber perspective. And, since no-one told us, save your boarding pass because you have to present it to the judge at court (and we lost ours). Lastly, the navigation bars on Blogger are magically in Russian, complete with Cyrillic alphabet here, which is a bit confusing.

And the biggest news, (you can now exhale!) – we will be going to the baby house tomorrow, and it sounds like we will be meeting a baby girl between 6-7 months old. We showed the coordinator a picture of Ava, and were told that this little baby really resembles her. I am so full of joy, imagining holding her in my arms tomorrow afternoon, I don’t know how to begin to express it.

We're off

2007-11-01T10:03:00.000-07:00

I'm shutting down the laptop and packing it now. Hopefully, they'll be something exciting to tell the next time we post! Thanks to all the friends and family for their good wishes, and we will really love to read some comments, to help us feel less homesick. We'll miss everybody!!!

The Lists

2007-10-31T09:27:00.000-07:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!! I am on a sugar high already, thanks to our clients.
I ran home at lunch, and our passports, with Visas, have arrived. Our plane tickets have not - hopefully they are en route. For those with travel in their future, here are The Lists:

The To Do List:
1) Get 60 day supply of contact lenses, prescriptions, vitamins
2) Hold mail
3) Call credit card company and tell them we'll be abroad
4) Order all the cash in new bills (~ 2 weeks in advance)
5) Blank check with neighbors for emergencies
6) Blank check with dogsitters, along with letter autorizing treatment until I can be reached
7) Copies of passport/visa, for us and to leave with my parents
8) Copies of life insurance policies/bank info left with parents (we will be traveling without our daughter, so this is for her benefit)
9) Purchase travel insurance - we used http://www.travelguard.com/, they have an adoption discount
10) Copy music and Russian-language cd's to mp3 player
11) Copy videos to bring with us (~40)
12) Set a few lights on a timer
13) Turn of water to the outside faucet
14) Set thermostat to 55F
15) Close off the dog door
16) Set up blog just for our daughter, to leave her messages/pix/videos
17) Get cellphone "unlocked" - to allow us to buy SIM card in Kaz - this only works if you have a GSM cellphone.
18) Setup contact info & website with adoption doctor (we're using Dr Friedman with CHOPAdopt, of Univ. of Penn). And practice uploading videos/pix to website so she can view them.
19) Cover the garden for cold weather
20) Arrange for someone to rake while we're gone
21) Setup bills/mortgage for online autopay (they already are, but if they weren't, this would probably be important)

The Packing List:
1) Digital camera/camcorder (carry on)
2) AA batteries for camera (we can probably get them there, but we're playing it safe)
3) Electical adapter/converter (note - you need a 25-50 watt converter for cellphones, laptops, etc, not just a 1600 watt adapter, which would be for hairdryers & irons).
4) Laptop & power cord & cord for dial-up internet (carry on)
5) MP3 player & headphones w/ splitter (carry on)
6) MP3-player speakers
6) Power strip (cuz we have several electrical devices, and only one converter)
7) Unlocked cellphone and charger
8) Deck of cards (carry on)
9) about 8 books total that neither of us have read (2 carry on). One I bought yesterday - a "how to" book for clinical massage, for grown-ups and babies alike :-)
10) Workout equipment - a yoga mat & yoga DVD's, a jump rope, resistance bands, and a "thigh toner" - I have no idea if the latter is any good, but can apparently be used for thigh and tricep presses, and was cheap, small & light weight.
11) Peanut butter, energy bars, instant oatmeal
12) 2 coffee mugs and an "over cup" drip filter
13) Money belts, with cash divided
14) Change of clothes for carry on
15) Prescriptions, vitamins
16) Minimal toiletries, apparently they'll have whatever we need there. I brought contact lens solution cuz I'm picky about it
17) Passports & all the adoption documentation (in water-proof accordion folder) (carry on)
19) Melatonin (carry on)
20) Clothes - dark, warm. No sneakers except for working out. A nice outfit for each of us for the court hearings. Dark socks, per someone's recommendation.
21) A present for the baby (a plush book with finger puppets, picked out by Ava)
22) Lots of childrens OTC meds & first aid stuff, for the orphanage
23) The Gifts (a mix of cosmetics (thank you to Ava's mom) and jewlery, and one tie)
24) A scarf to wear as my "recognizable" piece of clothing - adoption doctor recommended I wear it everyday, to help child recognize me.

Tonight we will determine whether all of the above will fit into 2 suitcases and 2 small backpacks. I'm optimistic.

I can't wait to step off the plane in Kostonai!!!!!

It's a go!!!!!!!!!

2007-10-30T06:07:00.000-07:00

In 53 hours we should be boarding a plane to Kostonai!!!!! On Saturday morning, we will (hopefully) get to meet Lucatore. After all the anxiety of the last few days, I am now filled with calm. I am just so happy. I'll post back with the packing list once it's completed, for those who will find it helpful. Thank you to all of you leaving supportive comments, they have really been great to read over the past week.

Pins and needles

2007-10-29T06:43:00.000-07:00

Today is the day when our agency is supposed to confirm whether or not we leave in 72 hours. Yikes. My heart is fluttering and my tummy is churning. The weekend was busy. We've got about 75% of the prep-work done, still a few loose ends that need tying. I'll be back to the blog as soon as we know something. If folks would like me to cut & paste our to-do list into the blog, for their use, I'm happy to do so.

Smiling Heart

2007-10-23T14:37:00.000-07:00

Still no Letter of Invitation, BUT... Our agency called today and told us that despite the absence of an actual letter, she expects us to leave on Nov 1st - a mere 8 days away. We are stunned - so much to do, so little time, and it won't even be official until Oct. 29th. So, as always, there's the possibility that this is another false alarm. But fingers are wrapped around themselves 50 times over.

Sad heart

2007-10-12T14:37:00.000-07:00

I have a sad heart, even though I know it is not rational.

I realized something last night. We were told last month that an Asian baby girl would be coming off the registry in mid-October, so we would be likely traveling at that time to meet her. It is now mid-October, and we have not received an LOI. Even if we got one tomorrow, that would not put us in Kaz until very late Oct. or early Nov. And the baby girl's registry date has likely not changed. This means that this little Asian girl is probably not meant to be Lucatore-Lucia. Hopefully it also means that she has already found a loving home, and does not need ours. And that little Lucatore-Lucia is still out there waiting, and soon will be sending for us. But my heart still feels a little broken, because it started to fall in love with the mystery baby girl. I cried a bit last night.

Lucatore-lucia, I will be as patient as I need to be. I know you are worth it. Love -mom

(P.S. - thanks to all who leave comments- it really brightens my day to check in and read them!)

My little walrus

2007-10-09T05:56:00.000-07:00

The other night I dreamed that we went to get Lucatore/Lucia, and were surprised but no less happy when we were handed an adorable baby walrus, all swaddled up in a cozy blanket. We brought her home, and I was introducing her to all the neighbors, family and friends. She kept wriggling out of my hands and slithering behind the counter in the kitchen, and I'd have to lure her out with a snack (just like I do all day long with cats at work). She had really charming little tusks. Could this dream be prophetic?

In other news, it's October and still no LOI. We went to a meeting last weekend, to go through all the details of our trip. We're ready. Or mostly ready. All we need is a travel date. I am using alot of energy trying not to obsess over when the letter will come. Hang in there, my little baby!

Holy Guacamole!

2007-09-17T16:02:00.000-07:00

Just heard from our social worker. We have not received our LOI, but it seems extremely likely that we will be invited to travel in mid-october, to bring home a baby a girl. A girl! Lucatore is a Lucia!!! My little baby, I can't wait to come and meet you. Can. not. wait.

Autumn in the air

2007-09-04T06:48:00.000-07:00

Today, Lucatore's big-sister-to-be started kindergarten. It's crisp outside, and I can feel fall sneaking up behind me on every dog walk, every back-to-school errand, every 7PM sunset. Last week, we spent a few days at the shore with my in-laws. Somewhere, in the midst of each activity (beach, pool, pizza, boardwalk, amusement park), someone would say, "Just think, next year when we do this, Lucatore will be with us." Lucatore, you've got a large, crazy Italian family who cannot wait to meet you and shower you with love! (oh, and my family loves you too!).

How is it that a familiar change of season makes me wistful for the son I've never met? In tribute to the excess sentimentality that autumn always provokes from me, I'm going to share the list of songs that I hum to myself alot these days, with moist eyes, thinking of little Lucatore:
1) Zion (Lauryn Hill)
2) Kid (Chrissie Hynde)
3) Fix You (Coldplay)
4) Mammals (They Might be Giants) - (yup, I've been waiting 10 years to sing this song to my child. I can't wait!)
5) My Funny Valentine (the Sarah Vaughan version)

It is September now, and so, per the agency, the LOI might come any day. Will it come today?

Why Kazaz... Kakaz... oh, you know? And isn't there where Borat is from?

2007-08-01T09:41:00.000-07:00

If we had a dollar for every time...., well the adoption would've been paid for, and we could've taken a nice vacation on the tax credit. Alas, even the (extremely nice & helpful) Travel Medicine doctor yesterday, who gave Ava and I our typhus and hepatitis boosters, couldn't begin to pronounce the word Kazakhstan.

So, some fun facts about Kazakhstan:
1) Second largest of the former Soviet Republics, after Russia
2) Ninth largest nation in the world
3) Bordered by Russia, China, Uzbekistan, and the Caspian Sea
4) Russian is the predominant spoken language.
5) Racially, most people are Asian or Eurasian
6) Religion - ~ 50% Christian and 50% muslim, apparently coexisting in harmony
7) 6th largest U.S.-international adoption program for many years, approx 700-800 children annually
8) Poised to become extremely wealthy, with a developing pipeline for sending oil to China
9) Mostly desert, with some really tall mountains. Pictures I've seen remind me of Tibet

As for why? Well, it's like this: Sal and I are both on our second marriage, and had only been legally married for 6 months when we started the process. Right off the bat, this left us qualifying only for Guatemala, Vietnam and Kazakhstan. We initially chose Vietnam because we wanted Ava (adopted from China in '03) to have an Asian sibling. See my first post to learn what happened to the initial endeavor. When we decided to switch countries, we wanted to be sure as we could that we wouldn't run into the same problem with over-demand that had occurred with Vietnam. Because Kazakhstan requires two trips to the country, and a total of 5-6 weeks spent overseas, we felt like fewer people were likely to choose it, in the wake of China's changes. And most of the children are Asian or Eurasian, so Ava would still share some ethnic similarity with her new sibling. Of course, there was more to it that that, including just a "feeling" I got when reading other Kaz-adoptive-parents' blogs. But that's the one-paragraph version.

I admit it, Sal and I both loved Borat. Now let's never speak of it again...

Who says Lucatore is a Boy?

2007-07-27T06:29:00.001-07:00

I just realized it might seem strange that I'm so sure Lucatore is a boy. We requested children of either gender for our adoption. Apparently, 75-80% of U.S. adoptive parents request a girl. But the numbers of boys and girls put up for adoption (except in China) are equal. Thus, if you're open to either gender, you get a boy. When I asked my social worker why this was, she answered that no-one knows, and that someone should probably do their master's thesis on that very question...

Who is Lucatore? Where is Lucatore?

2007-07-27T05:11:00.000-07:00

When Sal and I first began trying to conceive, picking out the "boy name" was easy. Lucas Salvatore - two family names with meaning, and an affable daily monniker: Luke. I don't know exactly when little Luke's name became a contraction, and can't remember whether Sal or I is to blame. Suffice to say, now our friends, parents, and even our 4-year old refer to our future son as Lucatore. You know, Lucatore.... as in: Lucatore, Omniscient Ruler of the Universe, or Lucatore, Fearsome Ancient Gladiator. I'll offer a wager as to whether we could ever stoop so low as to actually put Lucatore on his birth certificate. Any takers?

It's been 19 months since we first set out to bring Lucatore into our lives, and we now await the Letter of Invitation (LOI) from the government of Kazakhstan, telling us that the time has come to travel to a city 6500 miles away, and meet Lucatore. Everyday I struggle with not getting my hopes up too high, while simulaneously urging that letter to find its way to our door post haste! I haven't met Lucatore yet, but his absence makes my heart break a little every day.

Here's a synopsis of the road so far:
1) One year of fertility specialists, acupuncture, special vitamins, caffeine & tofu deprivation.... and a few boxes of plastic tests that failed to show the second pink line. By the end of the year, we were moving toward adoption, which we'd always planned to do anyway - we just thought it would be subsequent to having a biological child.

2) Three months of agency/program shopping - the culmination of which was a conctract with a local agency to adopt a child from Vietnam. Alas, days afterward, Angelina Jolie announced she had just adopted a child from Vietnam, using the same agency. And China changed their regulations. And Guatemala came under scrutiny. Which explains what happened in #3.

3) Two months of classes, questionnaires, autobiographies, security clearances, reference letters and home visits - and we officially "passed" our homestudy - hurray! After one night of celebrating, we learned the next day that our agency's Vietnam program had been so inundated with prospective parents, that they were putting it on hold indefinitely while they worked on expanding it.

4) Three weeks of disappointment, frustration and tears, while we tried to figure out whether or not to wait it out in the current program, or switch. It was during this time that I began reading other people's adoption blogs all over the web, and something called to me in the Kazakhstan adoption stories. I started feeling like maybe Lucatore was in Kazakhstan, not Vietnam... so at the end of the three weeks, we switched. During this time, we also decided to open ourselves up to adopting either an infant or two siblings, if they were 4-years of age or under.

5) 6 weeks of frantically getting our paperwork together for our dossier. A lot of it was similar to what we'd already put together for Vietnam, but there were some changes. I will refrain from sharing the saga of how difficult it proved to be to get a few of these pieces of paper, but I will share a few "lessons learned" at the end of this post, for those who are just starting the process.

6) 7/18/07 - we turned in our dossier - and learned, to our shock, that we could be leaving to meet Lucatore (+/- his sibling) in is as little as 2 months. After all the bumps in the road, I am trying to keep my hopes and expectations low. But wow!!! As little as two months!!!! We'll see.....

A few lessons learned with the dossier:
a) Expedite EVERYTHING no matter how long you think it will be 'til you need it, and no matter how quick the standard processing time is supposed to be.
b) Your congressman's office may be able to help get your passport out of current morass (mine did, and I am eternally grateful)
c) If you've recently changed your name (like I did), make sure absolutely everything (including the deed to your house) is in your married name before you start the process
d) If only one of your names is on the house/mortgage, it can be a big hassle to get the letter of home-ownership verification. So think about getting both names on the deed ASAP.